爸,永別了,一路好走。


前晚當明福通知我們你下不了床時,我心痛,立刻買了張機票想過幾天飛回來看看你,遺憾的我來不及回來探望病重的你就走了。

昨晚打電話回家一直沒人接聽,我想可能昨天的化療讓你更疲累了,遺憾我一直在你最需要關懷照顧的時候都沒機會給你說說話打打氣,你就走了。

昨晚我們忙著打電話商量如何照顧開始虛弱的你,媽媽叮嚀我帶些補品給你,很遺憾的我們什麼都來不及做,你就走了。

我原想下個星期回來時,約個朋友跟你談談你以前的故事,把你年輕時候精彩珍貴的事蹟給紀錄下來,好讓你的子孫後代記得你曾經為這個社會做過的事,遺憾的這個想法還沒實現,你就走了。

——

小時候,你是我的偶像,我想我是最幸福的孩子,有機會跟著你去開會跑山旅遊看世界,有機會看過你演講參政的激情,有機會和你分享讀書聽音樂的樂趣,當然也跟你和媽媽一起經歷過生意失敗、家道中落後困苦努力的生活,看著你如何為了我們的學費離鄉背井到台灣工作,感恩你們的付出,許我和弟妹一個比較好的未來和生活。

你一生淡泊名利、從不與人爭執爭風頭,我一直都認為你真的不適合從政,不過每次你談到57年參加的獨立運動會、65年開始參政、69年513後的社會經歷、74年成為國會候選人等故事,我都看到你閃爍的眼光、聲音裡的興奮,就不好意思打擾你的思維,我想80年代後從社團政黨退下來應該不是你要的選擇。

你和媽媽一直是我的人生導師,你們教會了我要感恩惜福,要照顧家人和為這個社會國家盡最大的努力。我是個不孝的女兒,這10年來一直忙於工作社運忽略了你們,騎劫了你們對我的信任,把你們的祝福當做最大的支持,忘了回家忘了給你們打電話問候你們的狀況,直到家裡出事我是最後一個被通知,你們生病了我才驚覺白髮斑斑的你們不能再挺胸健走,你們都老了,我才開始努力的想每個月回老家多陪你們。

2012年我們原要回去浙江溫州祖家前不見了全部護照,當晚你暈倒在酒店裡,我們才知道你的身體狀況不佳,可是我們還是掉以輕心以為當時你只是太緊張而已,所以後來都沒有跟催做個全面的健康檢查。

過後為了實現回祖家的願望,你開始努力運動,沒想到2013年8月出發前一星期才發現一直隱隱作痛的你有心臟疾病血管阻塞,開刀做塔橋手術後,感恩你大步跨過,復健蠻快。原本我們去年又再計畫去溫州,這次是你的眼疾把行程給拖下了。

今年開始你的身體健康一直出狀況,水腫到腳難走路,拖到年初一我們緊急把你送醫,以為住院治療後會沒事,沒想到一直都找不到病因,直到5月尾你人不舒服再住院觀察,醫生說是骨髓腫瘤。

你一直都保持正面看法要治療跟病魔搏鬥。我知道化療會很辛苦,不過看到你的心臟腎衰竭帶來的後果影響 ,我一直都不敢跟你談不要做化療的選擇。

昨晚當梅君來電告訴我們,你痛楚得下不了床想拖延去醫院治療,到如何告訴明福你還想活下去,我知道你是鬥士,沒想到今早收到你去世的消息,我愕然這次病魔這麼快就把你給打倒了。

永別了,爸,我愛你。

我們會永遠記得你的愛。

你的不孝女慧君
寫於趕回太平奔喪的路上

(26/7/2016)

浮塵


People on the move again?!? Based on the rate of T&D organisation changes, I just hope we know  who we are n where we heading to very soon.

From Candy to Ivan, then Mary, and now Sherry. When can we settled down on the ground n moved forward? 

一個月內換了三個頂頭上司,三個月內這個新小組已由3個不同的人來領軍,卑微的我只想塵埃落定踏在地上快步走呀。

人文圖書館送舊迎新茶會

說短不短,說長不長,2001年開始,我就長期投入時間精力在這個社區圖書館,偶而我會因工作繁忙而短暫離開,可是總會在忙完後再回來經營一段時間。可能因為總是分心參與其他社會運動,所以我一直都慚愧不能把這個人文空間做到最好。這次人文圖書館的結束,也是我個人人文使命的一個短暫句號。希望在啟程赴香港開始我新生活前,見證人文書院的誕生,也希望見見老朋友相聚敘舊。這個星期四下午三時到五時,在陳氏書院的人文圖書館,到時見。

  
Humanity library will be closed effective October 2015, it’s also mean my involvement with this community project since 2001 will put to the end too. Hope to catch up with some old friends this coming Thursday , 3-5pm before I start my new life chapter in Hong Kong soon.

人文圖書館結束營運

 十五年的心血結晶將分埋各地的塵土。

解散分離的痛楚在吞噬我每寸的靈魂。

有鑑於陳氏書院即將進行第二期的修復工程,而現有的人文圖書館場地,也將在修復工程完畢後作另外的規劃。由此,人文圖書館將于2015年10月修復工程開始前結束營運。

人文圖書館全體同仁在此衷心答謝多年來所有社會人士與會員的鼎力支持,更感激當初多位樂捐大批書籍給本館的有心人士,才能讓本館得以經營至今,以致雪隆一帶曾經存在過這麼一塊有意拓展本地人文氣息的小空間。僅此,我們也感謝陳氏書院多年來提供場地給人文圖書館。

為了酬謝各位會員的支持,本館將於八月起至九月一日前,逢星期四以及週六,優先開放給所有會員任選取三本書作為回饋,聊表心意。之後,本館內的所有藏書將分批轉贈給國內各民辦機構及大專圖書館,讓所有的圖書都能找到最佳的歸屬,以不辜負當初捐獻者的苦心。

本館的開放時間為星期四下午三點至晚上九點半,以及週六上午十點至下午五點。如欲前來選書,敬請電話預約管理員通知為佳,電話為011-23271908。

最後,人文課程不會隨著圖書館的結束而停辦,並會于日後移師至林連玉基金會大樓,繼續為大眾提供優質的課程,希望大家繼續支持我們,以及隨時留意我們臉書的最新消息,謝謝,再會。

Breakthrough changes 

 After went through 3 rounds of phone interviews n a face to face meeting in Sheng Zhen this Tuesday. I decided to take up a training job offer in Hong Kong this afternoon. 

After the meeting on Tuesday, I did have a bit of reservation. I am not sure whether I can work in this “China Apek” style company (that peer Pearly described). However, think about challenging n rewarding career in oversea, a change after 20 years in a flexible yet demanding consultancy work, plus a weakening ringgit economic. I do seriously considered all the pro n con factor.

As the recruiter Michelle nicely put it – this is not a usual job opportunity: a global portfolio that based in Asia plus China work experiences. I should not miss the opportunity. So when the offer came in this afternoon, I took it without doubts.

Now it’s time to get ready for the change of the life time 

 

613-陳家小妹出嫁了 ❤️❤️

 

還記得709後的一個聚餐,慧思向大家講述她和式聰Bersih” 戰場”的浪漫故事不久後,滿臉春風的她就向我和素馨宣告「大姐二姐,我談戀愛了!」。慢慢看著她和蔥仔一步一步相依的走下去,給他們出餿主意、跟他們一起出遊、回老家、買房子搬家、拍婚紗照,到今天幫慧思戴這項鍊時,感覺真的是我家辦喜事。

我會錯過陳家小妹628出嫁的好日子,在此先送上最真誠的祝福。

祝慧思和式聰白頭偕老、永遠幸福快樂。

(613真的是好日子,除了慧思式聰,也是志翰曉慧的結婚日,以後他們的結婚紀念日也是我的生日,可以一起慶祝喔😍)

       

這對新人真搞笑,沒有帶戒指來,就以交換🌹來代替😜

Otosclerosis

This is not a good day to start up a week….. a long overdue visit to ENT specialist and followed by dentist burned a big hole in my pocket; An apology to RAGM will definitely tint the Ban cyanide in gold mining future campaign; No one is taking any action in writing the thank you letter and reconcile the fundraising account; I am still unable to complete the audit reports; I need to postpone my work schedule and office plans due to toothaches and headaches; and my weak gum and decayed tooth that need special treatment is my next burning health issue……..

One “good news” is I don’t need a hearing aid at this moment. According to Dr Sudha (a very nice and energetic doctor in Taiping), my outer ears and inner ears are in healthy condition based on the endoscope checks.

EarImage

Not so good news is, the hearing test confirmed I have a conductive type loss called Otosclerosis, where my third ear bone in the middle ear is hardened (mainly due to calcium) and eventually restricted the movement (and hearing).

Otosclerosis is a common cause of hearing impairment. (The word otosclerosis can be broken into its two medical words: “oto” for ear, and “sclerosis” meaning hardening.) Approximately 5% of all people with hearing impairment have otosclerosis.

Otosclerosis is an abnormal growth of bone. The abnormal bone growth of otosclerosis may spread to the inner ear, stapes (the third ear bone), or to both of these areas.

The abnormal otosclerotic bone hardens around the stapes and eventually stops the movement of the stapes (According to Dr Sudha description, the stapes just like a door, it can’t open anymore if the hinges get rusted due to calcium accumulation) . The immobile stapes cannot carry sound vibrations to the inner ear. Therefore a conductive hearing loss develops.

The conductive type of otosclerosis usually progresses up by age to a maximum in the 30’s. After this, it rarely progresses. Dizziness and imbalance is a feature of otosclerosis in roughly 25% of cases. In about half of all patients, there is a family history of similar problems. Women are affected twice as often as men.

There is no local treatment to the ear itself or any medication that will improve the hearing in persons with otosclerosis.

This condition can occur in small children and in older adults. There is nothing a person can do to prevent this from occurring. Conversely, there is nothing that anyone did through negligence or otherwise that would cause this to occur.

Therefore the only thing I can do now is monitor the condition by performing the hearing test yearly and do more physical exercise  (exercise can increase the airflow and loosen up the hardening bone eventually). A hearing aid can be effective in treating the hearing loss, all depending on my future hearing condition and otosclerosis development.

During the doctor visit, we discussed about my medical conditions, including a weak gum / gum Inflammation, dry eyes and protruded eyes, thyroid disease  etc. Seems the radioactive iodine treatment can cause dry eyes, protruded eyes, autoimmunity and other health issues (Dr Sudha is a surgeon who think surgery is a much straight forward treatment than RAI). A recent systematic review concluded that more evidence is necessary to link otosclerosis and autoimmunity  😦

Reference:

http://www.dizziness-and-balance.com/disorders/hearing/otoscler.html

http://american-hearing.org/disorders/otosclerosis/