Happy Mother’s Day！

 

多久没有和妈妈谈天了，忙是藉口，善忘是事实。

我欣慰，今天记得打电话回家。

电话的另一端，妈妈细说近来的点点滴滴，听到她语气中的快乐。

怀胎十月，再含辛茹苦的把我们拉拔长大，

感恩妈妈一路来对我的栽培和厚爱。

妈，我爱你！

o0OOO0o

放下电话，我隐隐约约记得，好多年前，我也曾过了一生中最难忘的母亲节。

悄悄回头看八年前的今天，心里不舒服了老半天。

抹乾眼泪，告诉我自己，不管多痛多难过，不与往事纠缠，只许今天和未来，放下，好好的生活！

o0OOO0o

祝福全世界伟大的妈妈，母亲节快乐！

Corrupted Sarawak CM Familes

异族恋

这个新年，看到这个短片，我想在这个宗教不自由的国度里，很多人都有那丝丝遗憾的故事。

异族恋本来就不是件容易的事，除了文化习俗、语言、宗教的差异，还有家人的反对。。。当然更加困难重重。

我想起了姑姑堂叔表妹。。。。他们都是有勇气去追求幸福的人呀。

那年爷爷为了姑姑要嫁给锡克族的姑丈而闹自杀，最后姑姑被逼脱离父女关系单独离家远嫁；爷爷过世后，我们两家才多来往。这几年，退休了的姑姑常回大马探亲，然而那些年的事故总是心头的痛。

堂叔当年不顾叔公家人的反对娶了巫籍婶婶当妻，从此他的生活与我们就像两条平行的路线，不曾交错过。我也好像很久很久没再见过这个叔叔了。

我在青春年少时，爱慕者都是马来同胞，看到家人的重重障碍，我就没有勇气踏出第一步。有没有遗憾？我不知。。

What? Hearing aids!?

When the audiologist told me “Your high pitch hearing is good, you can even hear a pin drop.  However you may not able to hear a handsome man invitation for a date or whispering in your ear…………….” I was stunted and the only reaction that time is to look at him with a wry smile

He didn’t noticed my facial expression and continue to show me different styles of aids. I was shocked when he suggested me to wear a pair of hearing aids later.  WHAT? HEARING AIDS?!?  I rejected politely and promised will visit him in 6 months time.

Diagnoses showed I encounter mild hearing loss at low pitch, and the cause(s) may due to week nerves system. I confirmed the test results with this online check http://www.hearingdirect.com/pages/Hearing-Check.html

Mild loss may result in perceiving speech as soft or muffled, Which will have a detrimental effect when trying to hear in noisy environment.  Soft consonants are particularly difficult to hear, which is a frustration as the sound may be heard but remain unintelligible for the listener.

There is currently no medically based cure for age-related loss, so those with Mild Hearing Loss have a choice of continuing to suffer an ever more isolating hearing loss or investigate the use of amplification (example the use of a hearing aid)

After dealing with back pain, thyroid hormone, finger numbness, vision and pressure problems, now is hearing issues. Look like I need an overhaul for all my body parts  :-(

112 : We are Making the History

Himpunan Kebangkitan Rakyat KL112 is a successful peaceful assembly.

No thanks to police or Barisan Nasional. It is peoples power that pressurize the draconian government to end violence against assembly participants. It is peoples struggle who takes us to this stage today.

Photo credit ; Internet (AFP Pix)

Every dot counts, every voice counts, every person present counts, every vote counts – Rakyat is deciding the country’s future!

And I am proud to be one of the dot that make the history!

Ough, My Muscles Are Breaking Down :-(

When Dr Vijay saw the blood test results, his first reaction is : You are OVER dose. WHY didn’t you come and see me EARLIER?!?

I’ve been complaining about body ache, fingers numbness, joins pain, gained 3kg of weight in 2 weeks, lack of energy to do anything, eyes tearing etc health problems…….. I thought I am just too tired and stressful Never ever cross my mind I have bounced to serious hypothyroidism condition.

Damn, my metabolism is extremely low now. My muscles are breaking down and cells never recovering ………. No wonder I am in pain all the time. I need to stop the neo-mercarzole treatment immediately and hope health conditions will get better in 2-3 weeks time.

For the record, I am experiencing thyroids levels swing twice in the past few months.

Prior to May 2012 – In Hyperthyroidism condition after a year of oral treatment. Decide to go for radioactive treatment.

June 2012 – In Control condition with 10 mg of neo-mercarzole.

July 2012 – Mild Hypothyroidism condition after the radioactive treatment.

Aug 2012 – Stop all the medication after one month of 5 mg of neo-mercarzole adjustment.

Sep 2012 – Condition start swing to Hyperthyroidism. Health problem surfaced..

Oct 2012 – Confirmed Hyperthyroidism condition after a month of body aching etc problem. Start the 20mg neo-mercarzole oral treatment in Mid Oct.

Nov 2012- Condition swing to Hypothyroidism due to too high dosage of neo-mercarzole. Body started to feel very uneasy and put on weight.

10 Dec 2012 – Condition get worst and stop all oral treatment after doctor consultation.

11/12/12，折腾了整个晚上，很早就在疼痛中挣扎醒来。身体出现不能想像的痛楚，每寸肌肉每个关节都疼痛到有如不停的做了几十小时的苦工、整身乏力拿不起牙刷来刷牙、手指也麻痹到按不到键盘了，好像每个细胞都在瓦解中。

这一切都是我拿自己健康问题来＂搞废＂后的苦果。😢

如我早点去见Dr Vijay,可能就不会发生在短短三个月内2次thyroids 荷尔蒙摇摆问题，而搞到现在周身疼痛和长期健康受损了。

我今天也特地为了眼睛长期流眼泪和之前右眼视线受损问题到ISEC见Dr Wong. 他说之前的问题解决不了，retina已有旧疤痕，不能治疗，只是如找到好的眼医师，可通过眼镜来改进视线。眼睛也只是长期干燥而流眼泪，小事一桩，滴眼药水就可，唯一的好消息是，我的左眼没问题。

Survey: Half of M’sian firms lost contract to bribery

This is really alarming!! Half of Malaysian firms lost contract to bribery!!

Reported by Malaysiakini :

Half of companies operating in Malaysia surveyed have reported that they have lost contracts or business to a competitor due to bribery over the past year, according to an international survey.

“This is an extraordinarily high response and may indicate that corruption in the public sector is systemic, and in some areas, institutionalised,” lamented Transparency International-Malaysia president Paul Low yesterday.

“More bold measures must be taken to eliminate entrenched interests and processes that support abuses.”

Low was citing data from the Bribe Payer’s Survey 2011 that surveys companies in 30 countries with a high level of international trade and investment, including 101 companies in Malaysia.

Among other questions, it asks: “During the last 12 months, do you think that your company has failed to win a contract or gain new businesses because a competitor has paid a bribe?”

The survey was one of eight surveys taken into consideration when calculating Malaysia’s Corruption Perception Index 2012, announced yesterday, where the country is ranked at 54th out of 176 – an improvement of six notches from last year’s.

75% of companies say anti-graft drive ineffective

“This is a ‘real’ question – it is not about perception (of corruption) – (the answer is) either ‘yes’ or ‘no’.

“I show you (this data) because this reflects the reality, rather than what people call ‘perception’,” said Low at the press conference when announcing the index.

Low said he was highlighting this to show that corruption has an economic cost.

Of the companies surveyed, 39 in Malaysia answered in the affirmative while another 39 answered in the negative. The remaining 23 said they do not know, or did not answer the question.

Malaysia had the highest proportion of companies – 50 percent – that answered ‘yes’ to the question.

This compares to 47 percent in Indonesia, 36 percent in India, 30 percent in United States, 27 percent in China, 24 percent in Nigeria, 17 percent in United Kingdom, 10 percent in Hong Kong, 9 percent in Singapore – and the lowest – 2 percent in Japan.

The same survey also found that 75 percent of Malaysian companies believe that the government’s anti-corruption efforts in the private sector were ineffective, ranking it fourth.

Old photo, Great Memories!

Great memories back then!

I was browsing  photo albums looking for some information. Found this printed and nicely arranged photo album for our 2004 Nepal trip.

Thanks Young for taken a lot of great photos for us. She is right, I look different back then, as compared to earlier trips with short hair and chubby faces :p

Also realized we stopped taking portraits and started to take a lot of scenery/ “rubbish”  in the last few trips. All due to digital camera where we don’t need to bother about developing cost

Although I am sicked and not fit then, but this is one of my favorite trip with great memories… strained in Gurkha, took the small local bus running from curfew, woke up at 4am and found that our flight to see Mt Everest was cancelled due to bad weather, lost in the hill, my special encountered with the local folks, luxury SPA, great views…………..oh all these great memories came back just like yesterday.

After 6 long years, the 3 musketeers will travel again to Myanmar in less than 2 weeks time This time, we will bring a young brother along, haha!

Connect to Disconnect

現代人分秒必爭，智慧型手機讓人在空氣中交流、通訊、聯繫，卻將親情絕殺了。
遠方的朋友變近了，週遭的親友更遠了。。。。。

借此短片看看我們失衡的社會現像。

我們是否要
為了與全世界保持聯系而忘記了身邊最值得珍惜的人？
為了達成偉大的事業成就而忘記了把小事細節做好？
為了國家發展而忘記了人民的基本日常生活素質？
為了所謂的發展而犧牲了歷史文化和美好的家園？

值得省思！！

默默抗议的眼睛

This is not the tears of joys, moving, dismay or sadness.
My eyes are protesting since last Thursday n tearing non stop due to tiredness n stress. It’s high time to leave the cyber world & back to one of the most challenging struggles in the real world.

完成任務，鞠躬轉身，再次離開。
這不是不舍、感動或傷心的眼淚。
疲累的眼睛已開始抗議，一直默默的淚流不停，再不走我的身體會垮了，是時候集中精神完成今年最難熬的項目。

 

1125 綠色苦行到首都

沒有盡頭的綠軍

我在Chow Kit 與綠軍匯合

1125，兩場万人大集會，早上是今年第5場的華教大會，下午是綠色苦行。

我在處理好圖書館事情後，原本是要坐單軌火車去Maju Junction與SS, Jx2 會合，可是疲累的我在却火車上睡著了，过了Medan Tungku站後才驚覺我已過站。

也好，因祸得福，從Chow Kit 站出來，就看到綠色大軍剛好“殺”到這兒，上面兩張照片是在車站拍到的，這時已看不到人龍的盡頭了。後來在Maju Junction更多人加入，遇到了好多同道和老朋友，約2萬人陪走了綠色苦行的最後一段路。

雖然大夥進不了獨立廣場，可是我想大家的心都佔據了這個“人民獨立”廣場。

這只是個開始，抗争的路还有很長，不管风雨艰难路还是要走下去的。

其实对很多中产阶级的人来说，反公害是潮流，有多少人真正了解这个绿色运动的意义？！？

对我们这些只走最后一段路的人来说，这不是“苦行”，而是乐翻天的“嘉年华”！

后记  （1/12/2012）：

其实对很多中产阶级的人来说，反公害是潮流，对这些只走最后一段路的人来说（包括我），这不是“苦行”，而是乐翻天的“嘉年华”，不来参加一趟: You are so OUT, 又有多少人真正了解这个绿色运动背后的意义呢？！？

我们应该深入的探讨，这个苦行所带来的效益、对整个社会运动的影响，它所吸引到的支持者（尤其青年）是纯粹的支持及跟随，还是这些支持者在未来可以更投入于绿色/社会运动，自组成一股势力、一个组织？我们也应该检讨改进事项，包括这是否是个“造神”运动？

我在HHR后进入“操劳”（Burn Out)状态，为了个人健康和长期抗争，我放下了手头上的绿色运动工作已超过2个月，除了Mamas Bersih， 明显看到后续无人、杂乱无章的调调，甚忧呀：-（。我真的怕社运中坚分子会因这一个又一个的大集会而患上“过劳症”，那下一个社运改革我们撑得起挨得过吗？

笑看人生

笑看人生 ： 当我优雅老去时、当我年少轻狂时、当我是个艺妓时，还有我风情万分时。。。哈哈哈
(朋友Ah Young给我弄了几个好笑的版本，我把它合成以上作品，中间那张是六月的照片）

 

前几天都在讲课，这次我决定不谈大道理，先以分享我个人的大小故事来引入正题，效果真棒，六天三个硬绷绷的技术课程就在参与者发亮的眼神和开朗的笑声中度过。

教ESH时我说起我的个人意外经历，从小车祸到树倒车上的意外、再讲到山洪爆炸的惊险、在火灾现场如何镇定的救人救灾、不见5本护照后仍然能完成半个旅程的经验、参与者都听得津津有味，当然我不忘了提醒大家危机意识的重要性以及意外是可以避免和控制的。

我也分享了我的健康问题，从打篮球被推倒进院留医、被鱼儿“吻”上伤眼、搬图书馆伤腰、脚跟生骨刺、到我最近的甲状腺风暴（类似），大家听到傻眼，都说真的不可思议，为何一点都看不出那些风霜和经历，好像我细诉的都是别人的点点滴滴。

我说一切只因为我是个勇敢独立坚强和开朗的人。。。。。。

记得十年前在经历了人生最大的风浪后回归大队，告诉FL和KF时，他们都说我一点都不像个刚从严重健康钱财感请问题走出来的人。。。。几年前与朋友游玩时，我说起曾经历过的大小意外和紧急事件，大伙都把这些故事当笑话来消耗掉。。。。。几个星期前我去见医生时，Dr Karuna 还调侃我说“You don’t smell like a sick person”， 几天后他为他的言行跟我道歉。。。。

最近从”鬼门关“走一趟回来后，除了几位好友，大多人都不把我的健康情绪问题当一回事，好像一切都不曾发生过，没有问候和关怀 呼呼。。。我想这一切“假象”都是因为我少呻吟和抱怨 (其实是好事呀，在这忙碌多事的社会里，谁有空理你呀？），有事时就一个人躲起来哭过发泄疗伤过后又勇敢坚强的去克服一切难题的人生态度有关吧？！？

还好还好，我有颗坚强的心（虽然医生一直担心我会心脏衰歇）、乐观开朗的好态度（医生也一直留意着我的情绪问题）、和勒性特强的身体（哦，医生一直怕我会有骨骼疏松症），最重要的是我那”不屑小人当道、一切笑迎人生“的观念吧！呵呵！